I feel blue

I can't decide what I need to perk me up this morning.

A shot of caffeine? A nap? A day in bed? A good cry? I can't figure out what's going on, so I thought I'd list my current frustrations...

1. How come some days my bike ride feels super easy and sometimes I feel like I'm weighed down with lead weights?

2. Why doesn't my $10 backpack fit better? (ha!)

3. Why do my bike shorts sit at my natural waist and not my hips? It's SOOO annoying!

4. In fact, why do most skirts I own sit at my natural waist and not my hips? I can't stand having things at my waist - having them sit on my hips feels much better to me. (Obviously I need to remember this when I'm buying clothing!)

5. Why did I completely miss the rain last night?

6. I hate that I can't sleep with my bedroom screen door open because the sound of traffic is uber annoying! I get no fresh air during the night and I end up waking up at 2am to eek open the screen door a little to revive myself and get some air flow.

7. I have a fan in my room that runs all night, but sometime I'm just annoyed by its noise and it really is just pushing stagnant air around.

8. I HATE ants! It rained last night, like I said, and there is just a huge line of them marching across the house - from the kitchen door to the porch door. No me gusta!

9. Why does everything take effort? It's exhausting, really, to have to take time to do anything. It reminds me of when I was rowing at San Diego. I hated that I had to eat, like every 30 minutes. I seriously wanted there to be a pill or something I could just take in the morning and be done with my "feedings" for the day.

10. I'm going to be in CA in 18 days. I"m looking forward to the trip, especially since I get to see my dad and my brother for my sister's engagement party, I get to be in one of my best friend's wedding, I get to catch up with one of my oldest friends from pre-school, and I get to see some of my ya-yas again. So why am I dreading the trip? Not really dreading, per se, but maybe I'm apprehensive? I just keep thinking of things I want to take home (a slideshow of pictures, aussie candy, cool souvenirs) and trying to come up with a list of things I want to bring back (unscented deodorant, cliff bars, bubble gum, some of the shoes I left in CA, my real backpack that's in CA) and I guess I'm just annoyed with it all. And, I know that in no time at all, the trip will be over and I'll be back here. Far away, where everything takes effort.

ARRRRGGHHHH. There. I've vented.

I think that's the key for today - anything that takes any effort (ie, all of life) is just ANNOYING me today. My threshold for coping is obviously pretty low and I just need to recharge.

I'm going to lay low at work today, maybe treat myself to a movie tonight, and go to sleep early. I may even take the bus home because the thought of getting on the bike again is too much damn effort!