It's been a while

So, I've been trucking along - enjoying life in Atlanta.

The seasons have changed now, the trees, after their riotous color, have started to lose their leaves, and it's in the 30s to 40s (F) regularly when I wake up. I didn't ride to work this morning because it was 34F. Call me a wuss, but I didn't feel like trying to unfreeze at my desk all morning.

I've been riding a lot lately - I pulled my mountain bike out of storage, and now prefer riding it to work - I feel more solid and stable in Atlanta traffic on a mountain bike. And with rain every now and then, it's nicer to be on mountain bike tires rather than slicks. I"m now almost exclusively riding for transportation on the weekends - to festivals, to the grocery store, to lunch... it's great. I made a compost bin last weekend (with help that made me smile!) - my re-emergence as a full blown hippie is almost complete!

I've been reading about the Vietnam war ('Vietnam: A History'). It's fascinating, troubling, depressing, engaging, sad... I love history, and this is particular close to home (my dad was there in 68) and my brother is active army now. I've had some great discussions with both of them about the hows and whys of war. It's a continuing dialogue, and there's no easy answer.

I like the world to be in black and white - one of the things I"ve been focusing on over the last year (my adventures with depression! (see Hyperbole and a Half for an excellent description)) is being comfortable in the gray (or the grey - depending on how I'm feeling). It's not necessarily an easy thing to be in the gray zone - to be okay with the world as it happens, to not try to CONTROL everything. Because, for me, that's the crux - CONTROL.

At work I'm a coordinator. I coordinate and control things. (this is no surprise to anyone who has spent time with me). I'm good at it.

But I feel like it sometimes is too much and it seeps into my outside work life. This is why I stopped training for the half ironman - I needed to not be controlled by a training plan. This is why I dropped out of the book club I started - I needed to not feel obligated to read something every month and to not feel responsible for the logistics of the club.

All of these things have helped me to focus on living in the present moment. But I've become aware of other things in the process. I am truly uncomfortable when I'm not in control. I was in the cafeteria yesterday getting lunch (something I rarely do, partly because of my reaction) - my reaction to being in the cafeteria, with its inefficient lines for the grill and the sandwich bar and the hot dinner bar is increasing agitation. I waited for 15 minutes for a garden burger yesterday, and I couldn't even keep up a conversation with my co-worker because I was too distracted by the chaos. Literally had to keep myself from running out and just eating chips from the vending machine.

Work has been stressful this week - there are a lot of things out of my control right now - we are relying on a lot of other people to help us do things and bring projects to fruition/completion - and that means that when I get home I need to CONTROL something. So I watch Friends over and over. I know the episodes so well, and it's really comforting to me to have it on in the background. I rarely sit and actually watch - I'm doing other things - but I like the predictability of it. The other night I sorted out a large bag of trail mix. I made a one gallon bag of trail mix into 6 quart bags of almonds, mixed nuts, raisins, pretzels, chocolate granola, and mixed fruit pieces. It was about 40 minutes of targeted work, with a satisfying result.

Why share this particular brand of crazy with you?

Because it makes me feel better to put it out there.

Also, holiday ads have been making me cry and the thought of my brother becoming a dad, while exciting and incredibly awesome, makes me a bit sad too. I guess I'm reacting to the passing time - my baby brother (who will probably always be about 15 to me) is having his first kid! Maggie's daughters are growing so fast - I have conversations with Bridget on the phone now (well - they are mostly one-sided, but sometimes she sings for me)! I think some good family time over Christmas will cure this maudlin-ness I'm feeling.

A bruiser of a week

I've been playing softball on Monday nights with a neighborhood team (since I don't live in an 'official' neighborhood, I've adopted Kirkwood, which is a mile north of me). The last time I played softball was in middle school, and I don't even own a mitt, but I thought I'd give something new a try. On my first at bat I hit the ball and started running for first base, but I never got there, because, somehow, I tripped over myself and crashed to the ground about halfway between home plate and first base, right in front of my team's dugout. There was silence until I got up, made a joke, and started laughing. It was certainly a way to break the ice - teammates now know who I am! I think I was trying to go to fast; in my head I had the sprinting ability from middle school, but in reality I have the legs of a 35 year old who just doesn't sprint anymore! I've got somoe great knee bruises and scrapes galore, as well as a jammed middle finger on my right hand - that must have been how I fell.

I've also been riding my bike to work (7 miles each way) at least 2 times a week (3 if I can manage it). Yesterday, as I was riding through Emory campus, I stopped at a stop sign and fell over onto the curb. I come to complete stops at stop signs, expecially if there are cars around, but I don't usually clip out unless it's a red light and I know I'll be waiting my turn. For this stop sign there was only one other car going cross-ways, so I didn't think to clip out; however, the car stopped extra long - longer than I'd anticipated, and longer than I can balance for - so over I toppled. I landed directly on my hip (the fleshy part, thank goodness for padding). Today I've got a pretty bruise developing and also can't lift my right arm above my shoulder - I must have landed on my shoulder as well.

On top of all that, last night after I got home from my ride I went for a run and today my calves and knees are feeling it.

All in all I'm feeling a little beat up this week, so I drove to work today.

More Christmas list items

4. waffle iron
5. Seasons 1-8 of Spooks (MI-5 in the US) on DVD

Christmas Wish List

My first Christmas wish is to be with my family.

Here are some other things I'm thinking of...
1. new head lamp
2. commuter bike backpack with either the aircomfort system (deuter) or air suspension system (black wolf)
3. 3-ring gearing for my bike (I'm sure that's not what it's actually called, but I want more gears)

True Blue

True Blue is playing on my work music mix right now. It makes me stop and remember my Australian life. I know as time goes by it'll just feel more and more like a dream - farther and farther away. But it was mine, once.

Freezing Peaches

I spent yesterday afternoon freezing delicious Georgia peaches, to be enjoyed in the middle of winter as evidence that there was a summer this year!

The peaches this year have been so good that I decided to try to freeze some, something I've never done before. I found directions on PickYourOwn.org and bought about 10 pounds of peaches.

1. Wash peaches


2. Boil for 45 seconds


3. Put in cold water for 1 minute

4. Peel skin off (I was amazed at how easy this was!)






5. Cut as desired and put in sweetener (4:1 ratio water/sugar with 1/4 cup lemon juice)


Oliver was very intrigued by what I was doing, but wasn't a fan of the peach skins I gave him.


6. Spoon into freezer storage (ziplocs)


To be enjoyed in January and February!

Bran Nue Dae

Can't wait to see this!
http://www.brannuedaemovie.com/

"a charming new Australian-based, music-driven road movie/romantic comedy"

Wonder how it played in Australia?