Embracing the yucky sides of myself

On Friday night I went to the Canberra Centre with my housemate. We went to 'potter', as she put it. However, she recently got together with a guy in Sydney, and while I'm glad they finally quit their playig around the issue as they've been doing for the last 5 months, I can't say I'm super stoked for her to have a boyfriend. Even though he does live in Sydney. She talks about him ALL the time. Granted, they are in the infatuation phase, so it's understandable, but geez. For me the limit was on Friday when she wanted to shop for him - she just felt an urge to buy things for him. Including underwear. I played along, but inside, was not so keen, to be honest.

I guess it's been so long since I've been in a relationship that being in lose proximity to the overflowing giddiness and incessant need to talk, think, or do things for that person is a bit much. But I don't want to be the cynical, bitter, single housemate. That's not who I am. Really. I don't think of myself that way at least.

But, seriously, every single sentence out of her mouth these days is about him. Or how she's coping with being in a relationship ("It's just so wird to have a boyfriend"). Yeah. Cause I want to empathize with you on that point. Come on now.

Maybe I really am that bitter woman. Good times.

But, moving on... I actually have felt a mind shift the last couple of days. I'm feeling a little less blue, a little more at peace with myself, and okay with life over here. Most of you know that I've been having really bad acne lately - so much so that it's been afecting my psyche and my willingness or desire to go out, to talk to people, to even make eye contact with people. Even though my skin isn't any better, I've done all I can - I'm on antibiotics, have swiched my birth control, and have an appointment with a dermatologist (in 2 months, but apparently that's pretty good for Canberra). So, there truly is nothing else I can do. And maybe now that I'm starting to realize that I'm relaxing a bit about it? I still shudder when I look in a mirror and am not really keen to meet new people right now, but hey - anyone worth knowing would look past it, right? Yeah. Keep telling yourself that, Katie. But, it's just not worth it to obsess about it anymore.

So I can obsess about other things - like my housemate and her new relationship. And her complete inability to empathize, and her inability to focus on anything but herself. Hmmm... not sure I like this side of me, but hey - it's there and I'll embrace it till I figure out how to work with it. And my skin is obviously not going away overnight, so I'll have to embrace that too. YAY!